I don’t intend to make this long awaited post some kind of a weird sorry statement. Partly work has been chewing on my time and brain. Also I think I’m running out of inspiration these days. So you got to accept this apology (precautionary in all sense) well in advance because I don't want you to call me a loafer when you fail to see the regular nonsense drain in my next post! Anyways, here is an account of my first attempt at doing a little bit of soul-searching. And thanks to Jemie for allowing me to rip his testimonial about me and post it here.
What do you call it when someone writes a little something about you, and calls it a possible examination of some of your least understood traits, then goes about publishing it for eyes to read and brains to judge? At least orkut calls it a Testimonial! But isn’t there a drift in the way world makes sense of testimonials these days? If you haven't noticed, praise had started smelling bad on those prying noses... But on that note, Jemie did justice: he gave the world something bad to sniff at; he gave me something good to smile at! You must understand that I’m not here to boast or yap away to glory. In fact, I’m here only for these two reasons: 1) to get myself ridiculed and 2) to defend the then already ridiculed me. And that will be it. No boring you with the few lines of praises about me that was in there that got me blushing, secretly, all over. Since curiosity cannot be helped I wouldn’t stop you from going and having a look at that beautiful thesis on some of my distinguishing traits.
Confession: Getting ridiculed is seriously ridiculous. And you’ll see me do just that. Yes! I’m going to accept whatever little truth Jemie has put forth in my testimonial. Wish it helps the world fathom me a little more. He did manage to dig out something from my mental assembly, two flaws precisely, but had to kill all my hopes of living with it for a few more years! It’s like this: someone robs you off your clothes in public, and people there exclaim in both shock and surprise Lazy! Absentminded! looking at whatever they’d just seen and read… Huh! I won’t blame him for giving people what they wanted. I know he was only trying to help a less understood world understand me, and had to do so by feeding in truths to those hungry mouths of cynics! Please don’t think I’m planning a swarm of confessions here. I’m just trying to make my own stand clear. I will tell you this: his thesis was right after all. I’m lazy. And I’m nothing short of absentminded. Big deal! Everyone smells shit in a way or two don’t they? And how will this shit make me any less of a mortal?
Justification: A ridicule defending ridiculousness may sound ridiculously lousy. A retard you might suppose! So be it. But please hear me out. Everyone right from my parents to my boss keeps mouthing about my laziness whatsoever… Once someone even made me a laughing stock while publicly stating that “all that I do is just fart around”! You must understand that nobody taught me laziness. In fact, nobody could. Tell me, how in the world could you teach some lazy bum like me anything at all in the first place? You should know by now that you haven’t much to hope from a do-nothing nonsense chatterbox like me who daydreams his life away! But I have something to tell this world: People should stop expecting me to digest every damn crap they throw at me, or chances are they'll never stop complaining about my farting around! And mind you, give me not just anything but something I really love to chew on, may be you will start hearing less of noise then on…
NB: You might ask, what’s my take on absentmindedness? Well I can only give you examples: have used shaving cream on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste; have threw the banana and started having its peel; have left TV remote inside the fridge while going for water in between a movie; have got into the shower once with half my clothes on; have threw Mani’s mobile phone inside the garbage (then again, I was on four legs); I wonder if Jemie knew any of these… but I think that was enough ridiculousness to last a whole week of laugh for you all!
What do you call it when someone writes a little something about you, and calls it a possible examination of some of your least understood traits, then goes about publishing it for eyes to read and brains to judge? At least orkut calls it a Testimonial! But isn’t there a drift in the way world makes sense of testimonials these days? If you haven't noticed, praise had started smelling bad on those prying noses... But on that note, Jemie did justice: he gave the world something bad to sniff at; he gave me something good to smile at! You must understand that I’m not here to boast or yap away to glory. In fact, I’m here only for these two reasons: 1) to get myself ridiculed and 2) to defend the then already ridiculed me. And that will be it. No boring you with the few lines of praises about me that was in there that got me blushing, secretly, all over. Since curiosity cannot be helped I wouldn’t stop you from going and having a look at that beautiful thesis on some of my distinguishing traits.
Confession: Getting ridiculed is seriously ridiculous. And you’ll see me do just that. Yes! I’m going to accept whatever little truth Jemie has put forth in my testimonial. Wish it helps the world fathom me a little more. He did manage to dig out something from my mental assembly, two flaws precisely, but had to kill all my hopes of living with it for a few more years! It’s like this: someone robs you off your clothes in public, and people there exclaim in both shock and surprise Lazy! Absentminded! looking at whatever they’d just seen and read… Huh! I won’t blame him for giving people what they wanted. I know he was only trying to help a less understood world understand me, and had to do so by feeding in truths to those hungry mouths of cynics! Please don’t think I’m planning a swarm of confessions here. I’m just trying to make my own stand clear. I will tell you this: his thesis was right after all. I’m lazy. And I’m nothing short of absentminded. Big deal! Everyone smells shit in a way or two don’t they? And how will this shit make me any less of a mortal?
Justification: A ridicule defending ridiculousness may sound ridiculously lousy. A retard you might suppose! So be it. But please hear me out. Everyone right from my parents to my boss keeps mouthing about my laziness whatsoever… Once someone even made me a laughing stock while publicly stating that “all that I do is just fart around”! You must understand that nobody taught me laziness. In fact, nobody could. Tell me, how in the world could you teach some lazy bum like me anything at all in the first place? You should know by now that you haven’t much to hope from a do-nothing nonsense chatterbox like me who daydreams his life away! But I have something to tell this world: People should stop expecting me to digest every damn crap they throw at me, or chances are they'll never stop complaining about my farting around! And mind you, give me not just anything but something I really love to chew on, may be you will start hearing less of noise then on…
NB: You might ask, what’s my take on absentmindedness? Well I can only give you examples: have used shaving cream on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste; have threw the banana and started having its peel; have left TV remote inside the fridge while going for water in between a movie; have got into the shower once with half my clothes on; have threw Mani’s mobile phone inside the garbage (then again, I was on four legs); I wonder if Jemie knew any of these… but I think that was enough ridiculousness to last a whole week of laugh for you all!
7 comments:
I liked it... In fact, I got a feeling of being taken off to the Literature classes of my UG Days..What do u say? It was interesting and I find in u another of that Satirist.... Really.... Can take up this new genre of writing u know? ur stand is clear now!!!!
Good to see you being out-rightly honest, Completely accepting a fact is the first step towards change .. i guess you have crossed the first step beautifully..
Hey buddy....
Ooops just cant believe it, but I am forced to as it is inked my the same person.
I guess ur absentminded nature has shown u a new style of writing.
First half of the blog u forgot wat to write and went out of track but u have beautifully narrowed to the climax.
Grt buddy… continue writing ……waiting for the next ;)
Sandeep,it is a great experience to read your posting. May be, nobody taught you to be lazy. Equally true, nobody wants you to be lazy. I don't know from whom you learnt the art of writing this well. But there are a quite a few who wants you write frequently because they want to read.
Not having enough inspiration for posting on a periodical basis could be due to the fact that you are yet to identify areas which keep you passionately involved. I think if you find that out then it would be very difficult to say 'No' to your temptation to write. It is really nice to read your writing.
S.Gnanaharan.
My God...ha.....my testimonial gave way for all this...hmmmm....all for good, I suppose.
'In shower with clothes-on' has simply crossed all my limits of imagination...my God I couldn't stop smiling after I read that.
I am this kind of a person who just wouldn't stop throwing the so-called 'crap' at you for the fear of you having an in-digestion problem. I am ready to wait for long long years in the noisiest of neighborhoods that you can manage to put me in, hoping that you would one day conquer the problem. God bless.
Hiii Sandy... Sorry to comment late...
I liked the way u have presented urself by carefully organizing the rite words... Good work Sandy!!!
The two words that appears most in ur blog is 'laziness' & 'absent-minded'.
These words do hav their own advantages. Don’t forget Sandy that all of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness.
And regarding absent-mindedness- it’s a blessing in disguise. Perhaps we should be thankful for our absent-mindedness. It saves us from remembering all of life's crushingly dull moments as well as setting us free to think in abstract terms.
So always see things positively.
Good luck!!!!!!!
I'll tel you something? You have glorified your blog's name ABSURDLY NONSENSE!!! It was real non-sense, and seriously hilarious though!!! Keep goin!!
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